In November of 1990, John took the stage at an Indianapolis comedy club with the intention of getting comedy out of his system.

"I figured they'd at least boo me. Worst case scenario, they'd throw stuff.”

As it turned out, there was no booing or throwing. And since that fateful maiden voyage, John has made lots of people laugh from coast to coast. On stage, he's energetic and contagiously enthusiastic about numerous topics including: Electronic cigarettes, Snuggies, automatic flushing toilets and the proper age to stop chewing your shoe in church.

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This is the illustrated story book based on the viral video. I received so many requests for transcripts to my retelling of this classic tale that I finally just wrote it down, hired an illustrator and the result is this cool bit of literature that effortlessly makes the reader smarter and funnier.

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